Why it’s impossible to love your Self

There is a statement that is often heard during personal development workshops.  It’s been written in countless books.  It is one of the mantras of what became known as ‘new age’ thinking.  It’s the moment when someone says, “I need to learn to love my self”. In their determination to generate more ‘self-love’ many have gone straight to ‘mirror mirror on the wall’ and started to repeat their new self-affirmation, “I love my self” at the image of their face.  And then wondered why not much changes.  Which is not surprising as the face that we see in the mirror

The Quest for Love

However much we think we have to search for Love, Love is always there.  It is ever present, it is the being of the Cosmos. Love is a way of being. Love is a way of doing. Love can only be known in its being and doing – in every moment of every day. Breathing in and breathing out can be acts of Love. We have to surrender and give way to Love. We have to find a place for Love. In every moment, in every place, here and now, and here and now, and here and now. We can say

Detaching to listen better

People often speak of opening the third eye, but our true step into deepening understanding is to open our third ear! What this means is not merely to hear the other, but to tune the self to understand what is really being said to me. It enables me to better pick up the feelings and attitude behind the words are. This requires that I create a stillness within, by detaching as far as possible from the conditionings of my personality, from myself and from my way of thinking, to avoid interpreting new knowledge according to old patterns. I need to

A dialogue begins

A dialogue begins when we listen from a space of silence that can welcome what the other has to offer. In dialogue, we co-create meaning, we act in common to be able to create something new between us, something of very great significance that can - as David Bohm affirms - bring to an end the current difficult problems of the individual and of society. Through dialogue, a stream of meaning flows among us, through us and between us. Dia-logos, a Greek word that suggests the logos, the word or the meaning of the word, that flows through (dia means

The wonder of silence

In silence lies the ability to listen; to listen to ourselves, to others and to God. Listening is a lost art. Without it we cannot communicate, we cannot relate to each other and so we cannot live meaningfully. We need to learn to listen. Sitting in silence allows us to listen to ourselves and to understand. This silence can heal. The worries, the pain can be healed when we listen. Spiritual medicine is ever present in the soul. Whenever we need it, to whatever extent we need it, we can find it within. The disease of anger need the medicine

More economic growth or growing better together?

By Olivier Onghena-‘t Hooft Noble purpose entrepreneur & author of ‘The Book of Noble Purpose’ In my recently published book, 'The Book of Noble Purpose', I describe in the last chapter (A World of Noble Purpose) how we as human species will suffer big time from our own short term thinking and unconsciousness, from irresponsible political leaders who are more concerned about their next reelection than the next generations, from the unacceptable inequalities between the uber-rich-have-alls and total-poor-have-nots, from the disconnection from ourselves, what is truly essential for us and what will help us increase our joy in Life. Therefore

Are YOU Alone or Lonely? 

Reflections in time of lockdown Article by Mike George   There are probably four kinds of people.  Which one describes you the best? 1  There is the MC’s - Monkish Characters.  They have chosen to live alone or just be on their own.  They have a deep resistance to other people.  They are not comfortable in company.  They suffer from frequent Jean Paul Sartre moments, namely “Hell is other people”! 2  Then there is the CCs - Cool and Self Contained.  They are OK being on their own.They don’t seek it and they don’t resist it.  They are also OK

Holistic Peace

by Dr Garreth Thomson, contributor to and supporter of the SoH Forum How can spiritual peacefulness be expressed in the stormy world of political-economics? What kinds of systemic social changes are needed for us to live as peaceful spiritual beings? How can contemporary political-economics be reframed by ancient spiritual traditions? The concept of peace is central to such questions. ‘Peace’ is core to all spiritual traditions; but it is also indispensable in international relations and in reconceiving democracy and economic justice. It also is central to personal relationships. ‘Peace’ is potentially a bridge from the spiritual to the relational to

We ARE nature

  Interview with Dr Thomas Bruhn, dr. in Physics and co-leader of the project A Mindset for the Anthropocene at the Institute of Advanced Sustainability Studies (IASS) in Potsdam, Germany, and speaker at the 4th SoH Forum in Reykjavik 2019.   It is clear that we cannot expect our system as a whole to change into a more sustainable mode if our consciousness and our way of living does not transform equally with it. Q: What has inspired you to participate in the Spirit of Humanity Forum A: My work is facilitating trans disciplinary processes for sustainability. I come from

Words on Silence

by Dr Scherto Gill, representative of one of the Forum's partners Guerrand-Hermès Foundation for Peace Spirit of Humanity Forum features deep and spiritual spaces where three core human values, silence, listening and dialogue, can be cultivated, integrated, lived and sustained. Almost all religious and faith traditions, as well as many non-religious cultures, celebrate silence and take silence as their spiritual foundation. From monastic vows, to meditative contemplation, from mindfulness practices, to retreats in nature, the quietude is seen as invaluable in focusing our attention on what is deeply within, but also what is beyond ourselves, in preparation for prayers, and

A different take on the two wolves

Inside each of us there are two wolves fighting. One is fear, arrogance, greed, anger, hatred and despair. The other is love, humility, generosity, courage and calm. You usually say that the one you feed wins. But, in fact, victory does not lie in wiping out the scared and angry wolf, but in winning its heart with empathy, love and respect. By nourishing the loving wolf it will become able to take care of and melt the heart of the fearful and desperate wolf. When the fearful wolf have been cured of its fear and despair, the two wolves will merge

True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake

It is making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from. And that often takes doing the thing you least want to do. It often means looking your failures and disappointments square in the eye and re-strategizing. It is not satiating your immediate desires. It is letting go. It is choosing new. It is disappointing some people. It is making sacrifices for others. It is living a way that other people won’t, so maybe you can live in a way that other people can’t. It is letting yourself be normal. Regular. Unexceptional. It is sometimes

The world around us is an extension of what is happening in our inner world

Extract from an interview with Christiana Figueres (former Executive Secretary of the UNFCCC) at the Spirit of Humanity Forum, Reykjavik. Q: What inspired you to participate in the Forum? CF: It is very clear to me that everything we do in the outside world is only the extension, or the result, of what is happening in the inside world. So, that is where we have to start if we want to change anything on the outside. Q: At the Spirit of Humanity Forum, we are exploring how inner transformation can bring about global transformation. With your extensive experience in international

Empathy is the ‘cure-all’ – the secret sauce of life

Mary Gordon, founder and director of Roots of Empathy, speaker at the 4th SoH Forum in Reykjavik 2019. This is an extract from an interview made there, in collaboration between SoH Forum and Heartfulness Magazine. You will be able to access the full article in the January 2020 issue of Hearfulness Magazine Q: Thanks for joining me, Mary. Can I ask you first about empathy, since you work particularly with empathy? And can you tell me a bit more about your work? A: Well, we work with empathy, and my understanding of empathy is the ability to feel with the

Self-care is often a very unbeautiful thing

It is making a spreadsheet of your debt and enforcing a morning routine and cooking yourself healthy meals and no longer just running from your problems and calling the distraction a solution. It is often doing the ugliest thing that you have to do, like sweat through another workout or tell a toxic friend you don’t want to see them anymore or get a second job so you can have a savings account or figure out a way to accept yourself so that you’re not constantly exhausted from trying to be everything, all the time and then needing to take

What is resilience? Interview with Dr. Boris Cyrulnik

The essence from an interview with Dr. Boris Cyrulnik What is resilience? The simplest definition: the ground is resilient if, after a flood or a fire, it is able to provide life for new plants, new animals, starting another kind of life. It is not the same as before, but renewed. To start a process of resilience you need two things: A) Affectivity (to receive feelings/vibrations of love beyond words) B) Narrative (to give meaning to what happened with words) How is love and resilience connected? The brain of a baby who does not receive love become atrophic, it withers, due to

Are you an Extra-Terrestrial?

Do you sometimes feel estranged to the world around you, that you don’t fit in anywhere? Do you work hard to figure out what your role in life is, to become someone in the crowd? The good news is: You can quit the hard work, because you ARE an extra-terrestrial! And you don’t need a role to be anyone! None of us belong here, we are all guests, as it is meant to be. Guests on a visit are light because they don’t feel they have rights and ownership over the places they visit. They do not worry about details,

My attitude determines everything

The key to real, continuous inner happiness lies in the attitude of my own mind; how I choose relate. It is all about transforming a negative attitude to a positive attitude by maintaining good wishes, no matter what. With a negative attitude, I am the one feeling distressed in my own mind. If I have waste thoughts, feeling critical or worried, what am I contributing? How can I bring benefit? So first of all, I must check my own self: am I carrying any conflict in my own mind? To be clear about what is accurate and inaccurate is necessary.

It is all about LOVE

Bob Boisture, CEO & President of The Fetzer Institute, at the Spirit of Humanity Forum, Reykjavik 2019. Something larger is calling us to this work I had the blessing to be born into a family that taught me, at very early age, that god is love and that we are all children of god and that we are here most fundamentally to learn how to love. I have four, to be five, beautiful grandchildren all under the age of six and, when I look at them, my heart goes out with the sense that my generation has made a mess

A new way of learning through The Harmony Project

Richard Dunne is Headteacher of Ashley C of E Primary School, located just outside London in the UK, and a contributor to The Harmony Project. The Harmony Project promotes an understanding of how principles that maintain the dynamic balance and health of the natural world can help us live and work in harmony with Nature and with one another. It seeks to show how all life is connected and to support the adoption of an approach to learning that has principles of Harmony at its core, across diverse educational contexts.  Ashley C of E Primary School is an award-winning Ofsted-graded Outstanding

Humility is greatness

Humility is not subservience or undervaluing myself, but the ability to recognise and bow in front of the greatness of others with true appreciation. Humility emerges when I respect myself, not for my roles or my achievements, but by recognising what I am inside, a well-wishing peaceful being and not dependent on approval from others.

The Harmony Project

Over the last two years, I have been involved with others in creating and co-ordinating The Harmony Project. This Project, which is hosted by the Sustainable Food Trust (SFT), is a collaboration between four main people: apart from myself, they are Patrick Holden of SFT, the Headmaster, Richard Dunne, already known to some SoH followers, and Nick Campion of the University of Wales Trinity St David (U0WTSD). Then there are others that you might recognise, especially our SoH colleagues Scherto Gill, Sister Maureen Goodman and Sister Jayanti. Someone you won’t know, but who helps me hold it all together is

Re-creating Harmony

As part of our 'Wednesday Wisdom' series, in this article we look at 're-creating harmony'. "By renouncing the habit of seeing defects I start recognising the real value in others and in myself."

Subtle connections

As part of our 'Wednesday Wisdom' series, in this article we look at 'subtle connections'. "When I see that every living being gravitates towards kindness, care, respect and honesty, even when expressed in just very small gestures, I recall that there are some basic ‘core human values’ which we all have in common."

Self-realisation: I am spirit

As part of our 'Wednesday Wisdom' series, in this article we look at 'Self-realisation: I am spirit'. "When I recognise that I am spirit, the eternal life-energy playing my part through my body, all the scattered parts of my life come together and I begin to see the bigger picture."

Faithful: Spirituality in Practise

As part of our 'Wednesday Wisdom' series, in this article we look at 'spirituality in practise'. "Loyal and true to my word, I am steadfast in seeing things through. There is great solidity at the core of my being for I am dedicated to self-transformation."

The fruit of PATIENCE is very sweet

As part of our 'Wednesday Wisdom' series, in this article we look at 'the fruit of patience is very sweet'. "Not interfering, controlling or trying to use force, but humbly aligning with the laws of nature, the laws of harmony and then nature serves me."

Happiness of my heart

As part of our 'Wednesday Wisdom' series, in this article we look at the 'happiness of my heart'. "True happiness in my heart gives a subtle support to everyone in my connection automatically. Simply giving by being."

Overcoming Worry

As part of our 'Wednesday Wisdom' series, in this article we look at overcoming worry. "Worry comes from a position of insecurity and fear. When I feel threatened and begin to worry, my mind starts to create horror scenarios and produce a lot of thoughts at a high speed."

Towards a theory of peaceful relations – Garrett Thomson

Even if Peace is primarily a spiritual or psychological state, nevertheless, we also need to conceive of peacefulness as a set of social relations, including those that a person has with him/herself. In other words, if peacefulness is an inner state, then it will necessarily express itself relationally.

Peacemaking and the Feminine Principle

By Marianne Marstrand. Women can play a significant part in the global peace building process. In fact, women, when enabled and empowered, can be true peacemakers and there are many examples from around the world that demonstrate the importance of applying the feminine principle to peacemaking, which itself is nourished by all faith traditions.

Peace and our forgotten citizenship

By Joseph Milne: "One must also consider in which of the two ways the nature of the whole contains what is good and what is best, whether as something separate, itself by itself, or as the order of the whole of things.” Aristotle, Metaphysics, 1075a

A creative inner curriculum – by Dr Neil Hawkes

A creative inner curriculum by Dr Neil Hawkes

“Real change will happen when enough school communities are values-based and the benefits are clearly seen by parents and the community.”

Understanding Community as Communing

An extract from 'Peacefulness: Being Peace and Making Peace', chapter four from Scherto Gill. "In this chapter I explore a different way of understanding community – community as communing and focus the discussion on those conceptions of community that stress the relational nature of our being."

Peace within oneself and all of creation – an indigenous perspective

Although this lakota word, WOLOKOLKICIAPI, might be defined by the title of this chapter, the translation is insufficient to capture what it truly means to the people whose language stems from the landscape of their ancestors. Nonetheless, it serves here as a guide for understanding the idea of inner peacefulness. It helps teach us about what conditions can bring us to it and then how to breathe it into all our relations.

Peacefulness: Being Peace by David Cadman

By David Cadman: In writing this opening chapter and being mindful of the argument put forward in the Introduction, my proposition is this: peacefulness arises from within us as an expression of who we always have been and of whom we may become. It is rooted in love and compassion and is nurtured by stillness and silence.

Mike Hardy – Finding Peace

Professor. Mike Hardy, Executive Director of Trust, Peace and Social Relations at Coventry University shares his thoughts at the SOH Forum...

"Wouldn’t it be better to focus not on who we were but how we behaved? Are you kind, gentle, are you generous, are you angry? That level of difference would be easier to manage."

Vladimir Yakunin – Education is core element for peace in the world

Vladimir Yakunin with open, wonderful thoughts from his interview conducted at the 2017 Spirit Of Humanity.

"Very often we trust what we read in newspapers, or see on the TV, taking no efforts to learn or to study. That is a specific feature of human beings, not just to be curious, but to learn and to study. Education to my mind is the core element for future development of peace in the world."

Ingibjorg Solrun Gisladottir – Women are to be everywhere decisions are made

Former Foreign Minister for Iceland (2007-2009) Ingibjorg Solrun Gisladottirh spoke to Jim Paymar at the 2017 Spirit of Humanity Forum in Iceland

"I think they often approach them from an inner place, using their inner values, and it is important for us to not lose this. For me it is important women are to be everywhere decisions are made."

Mohinder Singh – Humanity leaves nobody outside

Mohinder Singh spoke to Jim Paymar at the 2017 Spirit of Humanity Forum in Iceland

" When you talk about humanity, it leaves nobody outside. We are all human, each one of us we are interconnected and interdependent. What we do affects others."

Elmar Givelet: Togetherness fighting for non-violence

Elmar Givelet lives in Paris and was the youngest participant at the 2017 Spirit Of Humanity Forum. He gave a wonderful talk at the Forum, and here he gives us his thoughts on the Forum itself.

" Everybody here is concentrated in a way that they are interested, happy, here not just to learn but to discover. They are taking their curiosity."

Alexander Schieffer – The collective field of participatory democracy

Alexander Schieffer, Co-Founder of Trans4m, Transform Centre for Integrity Development, gave his thoughts on this year's Spirit of Humanity Forum.

"I want to evoke something, we need to activate the collective field of participatory democracy, out of which new visions can rise that we then see reflected in leadership"

David Cadman – Accessing depth

David Cadman reflects on the Spirit of Humanity since its inception in 2012.

"We try to create a place in which that depth can be accessed. We find that it is almost like providing a doorway into that depth by our silence, the prayers that are given by all traditions, by the energy that is felt by people, that breaks away from some of the static structures of a typical conference, to enable people to find a deeper sense of themselves and then of their lives."

President of Iceland – Let us unite and stand together

Gudni Johannesson, President of Iceland, gave his opening remarks to this year’s Spirit Of Humanity Forum.

"For as long as there was harm that you could have eased, and there was fair battle you could have joined, but did not, the problems of this world are also your fault."

Scherto Gill – Being together

Scherto Gill speaks to Jim Paymar at the 2017 Spirit Of Humanity Forum in Iceland and looks at peace, conflict and connectedness.

One way to see peace is that it is relational. When peace is relational, conflict is therefore part of peace. Peace is our capacity, our collective capacity and intention to ensure conflict does not turn into violence. ....."

Rama Mani – The Gift of Peace

A Peace Booklet by award winning humanist and peace artist, William Kelly and peacebuilder, poet and performance artist Rama Mani is now available.

Lord John Alderdice: "This little book will introduce you to the remarkable way that Rama Mani and Bill Kelly weave poetry and art into a powerful rope that draws us to new insights....."

Lungi Makgoba – Love is the most intense power

Lungi Makgoba speaks to Jim Paymar at the 2017 Spirit of Humanity Forum, her second Forum about 'coming home' and how 'love is the most intense power'....

"It is a coming home, to family. It is such an incredibly precious space. This is my second Forum – coming to Iceland, meeting local people, forming bonds of love and fellowship with them....."

Rama Mani – Reawakening of our sense of humanity

Dr Rama Mani, Founder, Theatre of Transformation Academy with some beautiful thoughts shared with Jim Paymar at the 2017 Spirit of Humanity Forum in Iceland......

"I have come profoundly to know, having spent my earlier professional life working in the political arena, what I realised it is only through the reawakening of our sense of humanity, that needs to be rekindled in each of us..."

Golo Pilz – We can all become members of change

Golo Pilz, Adviser for renewable energy for the Brahma Kumaris with an insightful interview looking at climate change and caring for our planet at the recent Spirit Of Humanity Forum in Iceland......

"If we change habits of needing more than we really need we can contribute to climate change in a positive way. But we have to change how we are wired, and meditation is a very powerful tool to initiate such a change.."

Steve Killelea – In the last 12 months, the world has become more peaceful

Steve Killelea is the founder of the global think tank, the Institude for Economics and Peace. Having given an inspiring talk at this year's Forum, he answered some questions from Jim Paymar.....

"I think the change needs to come from within. It comes about in an age where we are inter-connected. People now start to get disillusioned with the systems, there is a change going on."

Gulalai Ismail – The Founder of Aware Girls

Gulalai Ismail, Founder and Chair Person for Aware Girls, gives her thoughts to Jim Paymer at the 2017 Spirit of Humanity Forum on the work she does in Pakistan and some of the challenges she has faced....

"We engage whole communities, holistically. We engage them in dialogue so they can see the importance of what wonders can happen when both men and women are equally contributing to their community."

Four Arrows – Remembering the world

Professor of Educational Leadership for Change at Fielding Graduate University, Prof. Don Trent Jacob (Four Arrows) sat down with Jim Paymar at this year's SOH Forum... ...

" I think that, the idea of spirits, it is giving significant to other and other is not cut off at the human world."

Clementine Raphel – Loving and caring souls

Clementine Raphel, who helped bring the youth to this year's Forum, shares her thoughts on the Spirit Of Humanity with some quick-fire questions...

"The Spirit Of Humanity Forum is to me a place where I am seen for who I am - a loving and caring soul. It is a place where we recognise the importance of connecting to our deep and true nature."

Ottarr Proppe: Spirituality is part of our makeup

An open and honest interview with Iceland's Minister of Health, Ottarr Proppe, has been at all of the Spirit Of Humanity Forum since its inception.

"Spirituality is a part of our make up as human beings and communities. It is an instinctive way for us to live together."

Q&A with Alexandra Asseily: Resolution takes courage

Jim Paymar sat down with Alexandra Asseily at this year's Forum. Alexandra has lived in Lebanon and talks about the conflict she has witnessed, and the possible path to resolution.

"My thing is forgiveness, forgiveness of oneself, in order to be less of a projector. If we can feel at ease with ourselves the more we can feel at ease with the other. It is fear that will drive us in the wrong direction."

Q&A with Lord John Alderdice: We are edging towards a new set of understandings

At the 2017 Spirit of Humanity Forum in Iceland, Jim Paymar sat down with Lord John Alderdice to discuss conflict, bridging divides and the Forum itself.

"Having had a few days space with other people devoted to finding a better way, and in my world in politics, you don’t get that many spaces. There are people here who have experiences who are really good to engage with and learn from."

Climate Action – the Ethical Perspective

Maureen Goodman looks at what our collective responsibility towards communities and families directly affected by climate change and towards the generations to come is...

“Whatever we do, whatever place we are in, we should ask first not what shall I do, but what does this place, what does this Earth require of me? In other words we are called not simply to action, but to service. Caring for each other and for the Earth is just that, service, deep service.”

My life has been oxygenated and transformed by powerful bubbles arising without warning, from a deep source, a bottomless lake – by Alexandra Asseily

My life has been oxygenated and transformed by powerful bubbles arising without warning, from a deep source, a bottomless lake.

“How does my voice suddenly sing like an angel, with a song I have never heard before, when asked if I want to open myself to God? It must have hidden somewhere - deep in my lungs, until released in bubbles of pure sound.” An article by Alexendra Asseily

A Timely Invitation to Envision and Enact Collective Transformation!

Dr Rama Mani, Founder, Theatre of Transformation Academy, Research Associate and Convenor, Enacting Global Transformation Initiative, Centre for International Studies, University of Oxford.

"We are living now through such a moment in human history where we are called, each of us, to build the bridge between personal and systemic transformation. We are called to recognise that the old paradigms have asphyxiated not only our institutions but the very possibility of life on earth. We are called to shape and enact new paradigms that are regenerative and infused with care."

Identifying the signs and symptoms of living the wrong way round – by Mike George

The best-selling author Mike George identifies the signs and symptoms of living the wrong way around.

“It seems the vast majority of us are 'outside inners' as opposed to ‘inside outers’. But we don't know it! We don't realise living from 'outside in' is the primary cause of an unhappy and unfulfilled personal life AND the reason why we see so much conflict in the world around us. But why?”

More Love and Compassion in Decision-making

Ambassador Ragnar Ängeby, a former Swedish diplomat and one of the founders of Spirit of Humanity Forum, presents some thoughts behind the Forum.

“We need to give more space to a humanity that cares for compassion and love, honesty and respect, and other basic spiritual values which are part of our common human heritage.”