“Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.”    – William Shakespeare

I had silence thrust upon me in February 2023, when an ice storm blowing through Michigan removed power from all of the homes in the area. Huddling around the small brick fireplace which single-handedly operated as light for our entire house, I realized that for the first time in a while, I was surrounded by pristine silence. 

It’s almost cliché to say that silence has been replaced in a technology-driven world. Yet due to endless, instantaneous information which constantly colludes our besieged brains, a lack of silence results in shortening attention spans, sensory overload, and a general feeling of rush in everyday life. 

And so, huddled under blankets to escape a bitter cold with my family, while only hearing the sounds of faint fire crackling, I was finally able to truly think deeply. In the absence of all electronics (which had run out of battery), productive engagements (which were held at a standstill), and reason to talk (my family was tired of each other by this point), I was finally able to ask myself an important question:

When was the last time you were in true silence?

At that moment, as my brain cleared and refreshed for the first time in years, I began to realize that first of all, that silence isn’t something to be afraid of. It’s a gift, a rare and precious gift in this noisy world. Nowadays, we are nearly conditioned to become addicted to noise, where the absence of it creates an uncomfortable feeling. Yet by retracting myself from everything (albeit in this instance forcefully), I was finally able to think about myself, and not just the environment around me. 

Afterwards, I was drawn to meditation. Dedicating small, yet ever increasing moments daily towards gathering myself has not only resulted in growing self-awareness, but also self-connection. Reducing the bombardment from my environment resulted in more me. 

However, it was not until I joined a local racial healing circle cohort that I finally realized the full power of silence. Working to host restorative conversations for those at organizations and schools who wish to heal through dialogue, we talk in tight-knit ‘circles,’ but more often, we listen.

I realized that it requires silence to be actually heard

Listening is not possible without silence, where our structured conversations allow for moments where conversation lapses. In these moments, a more thoughtful connection is built between partners, as each thinks critically about what was said, and the context surrounding it. An almost paradoxical statement, I realized that it requires silence to be actually heard. Only then, can the beauty of difference shine through and be appreciated. Before February 2023, due to all the external factors that drove my family in our busy lives, nobody appreciated our unassuming fireplace, though it sat just as it did, on the night in which we all desperately huddled around it, finally realizing its heat. This appreciation required silence. 

Similarly, nowadays, it can be easy for people to immediately cite differences between each other as a reason for polarization, and antagonism. In modern life, the lack of silence generates the feeling that everybody must respond immediately, or share their criticism, of each experience in their life. Yet only through silence, can we turn to wonder and appreciate unity and similarities.

My appreciation for teachers skyrocketed as I began to see their perspective simply from listening.

In one healing exercise, a teacher detailed her relationship with students. Without feeling the need to respond, I instead just listened, reflecting on my personal educational journey and comparing my misconceptions to her ideas. My appreciation for teachers skyrocketed as I began to see their perspective simply from listening. For instance, hearing her excitedly talk about the moments when students displayed interest in coursework highlighted the emotional side of teaching. 

This is but one example of the importance of listening, which can be applied similarly to more difficult conversations, such as that of race, and politics. At the Spirit of Humanity Forum, I hope to focus on listening in all my conversations, with people from various different backgrounds, in order to build real connections, based on empathy and understanding. One conversation, one person at a time, I am excited to explore the themes of inner wisdom, learning through a reflective, introspective lens that is only made possible through deep listening and silence.

by David Li

David Li is a high school senior who enjoys observing spirituality in his day-to-day life. He has been involved in civic service throughout high school, most notably as a part of Jeter’s Leaders, a national volunteering organization which has given him the opportunity to serve in 5+ states throughout 4 years. However, he became most interested in spirituality after an internship at the Collaborative for Spirituality in Education, housed in Columbia University’s Teachers College, which showed him the efficacy and possibilities of spirituality in education and society at large. Beyond spirituality, David’s interests are in systems biology, exercise, and various sports.

Photo of fire by Photo by Matias T on Unsplash